Stonewall Plays the Google Game

1. Google ''[your name] needs'':
Bryant needs your help.
Kelly needs a little man to get him off.
Beck NEEDS dollarama.
Rob needs therapy.

2. Google ''[your name] looks like'':
Bryant looks like chicken.
Kelly totally looks like Leighton Messter.
Beck looks like his ratings are tanking.
Rob looks like he should be cold!

3. Google ''[your name] likes'':
Bryant likes blog.
Kelly likes shoes.
Beck likes legos.
Rob likes playing with other men's balls.

4. Google ''[your name] says'':
Bryant says LeBron James is the MVP.
Kelly says airline acquisitions may be on the horizon.
Beck says Uncle Sam is a crook.
Rob says it's a rock.

5.Google '[your name]' wants:
Bryant wants a second chance, not second place.
Kelly wants to PISS on you!
Beck wants to kick California out of the Union.
Rob wants to lick me.

6. Google ''[your name] does'':
Bryant does a Spanish fashion mag.
Kelly does Hollywood.
Beck does "Gamma Ray" on Letterman.
Rob does theater.

7. Google ''[your name] hates'':
Bryant hates dog poop.
Kelly hates Japanese noiseless loos!
Beck hates Americans' morals.
Rob hates Killzone 2.

8. Google ''[your name] can'':
Bryant can take a bow.
Kelly can do it!
Beck can write?
Rob can interview santa.

9. Google ''[your name] goes'':
Bryant goes for 27.
Kelly goes to Whitecastle.
Beck goes blogging.
Rob goes rural.

10. Google ''[your name] is'':
Bryant is the Lakers' standout film student.
Kelly is LOVE.
Beck is now a made man.
Rob is Crazy.com.

11. Google ''[your name] loves'':
Bryant loves Target.
Kelly loves whales.
Beck loves a 9-11 widow... now that she's dead!
Rob loves Sheila.

12. Google ''[your name] knows":
Bryant knows he's running out of chances
Kelly knows something.
Beck knows.
Rob knows best.

13. Google ''[your name] sees'':
Bryant sees upside and down to off-season moves.
Kelly sees copycat in latest bias incident.
Beck sees red!
Rob sees the light side of sharing a hospital bed.

14. Google ''[your name] can't'':
Bryant can't live without DVR.
Kelly can't stop the music.
Beck can't get rid of Malibu mansion.
Rob can't believe it's been 26 years since OSU beat the 'Cats in Tuscon.

Stonewall Says:

Cookies on this inaugural day

Stonewall and I are all alone tonight, so I had to make cookies to cheer us up.
I've decided that I will start to document my chocolate chip cookie baking exploits for the sake of "the baker's crucible" -my eternal search for the ultimate cookie.
Most of the recipes I use are variations on the betty crocker recipe I grew up following. Some turn out better than others. This one was surprisingly successful:

3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/2 of an apple-pear, finely diced
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 large egg
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp baking soda (heaping)
1/2 tsp salt
2 1/2 cups flour
1 cup chocolate chips

The State of Stonewall

Upon return to the abode Stonewall, I have discovered her in quite a dismal state. It seems that Rob's failure to run the dishwasher before leaving 23 days ago has produced dire consequences. The hardwood floors have eroded into soft clay on top of which has sprouted marsh grasses and jungle vines. A unique amphibious species inhabits the entirety of Stonewall. Thankfully, the unusual creatures appear to be docile; they are perfectly adapted to the environment, surviving on a diet consisting entirely of Beck's dead skin cells. With an unlimited food supply and no competition, they engage in rampant and furious reproduction; a single Chupacabra of unknown origin is all that keeps their population from exploding out of control!