As i left the apartment for winter break i should mention...

While i did clean one bathroom(The one which contains RD's nugget hole), take out all the trash, clean the kitchen and some of the living room, i forgot to start the dishwasher.... What does this mean? It's chock full of dirty dishes. Probability of them growing mold: very high. Positive side: it's all contained. Lets hope for the best.

Sincerely, RDD

PS. I may have left some of my stool in Alex Jordan Becker and Bryant Clark Colie's potty, for this...my condolences.

Lettuce welcome...

At the start of the new semester we will be welcoming a new guest into our crib. Her name...Eduardo Bianchi, Her Christian name..."AXIS". This is she. Buongiorno Eduardo.

A Lyric for the Last Day of the Semester

Stonewall is no fool
Ultimate is his rule
Cabell Library, second floor
Here I'm stuck, until four
This is when RD returns
Quickly I hope he learns
Clark Colie has lost his keys
Of which he dearly needs
You see,
Jezebel, Becker have both returned
Both returned whence they came
And young Rob D, to Norfolk
An asshole of a place
Helpless is my name
At the will of the city streets
The winter chill
Brewski Miller
Alas,
Upon his futon I spent my night
He tried to snuggle, it just wasn't right
Now, from the sky, rain comes down
Upon my face, it has left a frown
Shafe has surely cured my spirits
Gary inquires about the twits
The drunks who molested our banister
But I know nothing of the matter
And Tyer agrees upon the latter
Of my proposals, he will release the bind of Stonewall
The locks that left me in the hall
Soon I will return
What did I learn?
Stonewall is no fool.

Before and After

There is no kelly.

From this moment forward the former "Kelly "Lumberjack"O'Briant" will be known as Jezebel.

Commentary on dinner, my father, german festivals

One member of Stonewall, I won't say who but his name is burrito_bryant, is forever wanting Brats for dinner. A "brat" or "brät" rather, is short for brätwurst, the german word meaning finely chopped meat and sausage. Being the annoyingly undecisive person I am, I never have helpful input when posed the question, what do you want for dinner? Thus, I end up eating things that I might not otherwise be exposed to were I preparing meals on my own.

Confession: Before living at Stonewall I had never really experienced a bratwurst. How could that be possible? Well, they look kind of frightening uncooked. And only recently have I started conquring my fear uncooked meat products. But mostly, my Dad has a strong revulsion to bratwurst in any shape or form and thus it is never served back at home.

Backstory: my Dad grew up in Bucyrus, which as you know if you took the time to read the wiki article linked to above, is a really small town in northern Ohio with strong german-american roots. Bucyrus holds a Bratwurst Festival every year in mid-August. I've never had the privledge of attending, but my Dad claims that it is the nastiest, most foul display of brat eating and beer drinking that anyone could ever be subjected to witness. It is aparently because of this festival that my father has aquired a life-long distain for the bratwurst.

I, fortunately, do not fall into the brat-bashing category. In fact, I just today ran across a blurb in one of the cycling blogs I frequent on how to properly prepare bratwurst. This is not how burrito_bryant prepares his brats, but I thought it might be interesting and/or educational to post the brat-blurb here for all to read and critique-

How to properly prepare bratwurst. There’s no secret or trick to making great bratwurst, but everyone acts like it’s a religious revelation when they have a good one. So here’s how it’s done. Use Budweiser to boil the brats, with an onion chopped in and a half bottle of Worcestershire sauce poured in. Simmer for at least half an hour, and for much longer if you feel like it — up to an hour, if you feel like it. Then grill over charcoal or wood. Not gas. Serve with a good bun (Kenny’s homemade bread is the best) and Gulden’s Spicy Brown Mustard.

Lets do the fork in the garbage disposal

DINGDINGINDGIDNGINIDNDG GDINGDINDGIDNGIDN DINDGIDIGN

RD gets all Houdini

RD. Magician, escapologist, stunt performer, actor, historian, pilot, and paranormal investigator.

Who wouldnt want to walk out into the hallway and see this?

Moonlight Gmail Chatz

Kel: rob returns to his room

Kel: he'll see your new design soon

me: haha oh boy

Kel: also he says "only jews sleep at this hour"

Ten Days of Birthday: Day 7

The days of birthday are ticking away and I have to say I've done a pretty good job of deviating from my plan of baking one cake a day. I could give some lame excuses like "I loaned out all my 9inch round cake pans" or "who wants to bake after you've been out yardsale-ing all day?" but we all know I don't make excuses, I make things happen. So in the spirit of getting back to birthday I decided to challenge myself with a cupcake recipe. Cupcakes are not generally thought of as challenging persay, but I found this particular cupcake recipe on Martha Stewart's personal website for Recipes, Cooking Recipes, Food Recipes, Free Recipes, Simple Recipes, and Menus. My darling Martha does not publish a cupcake recipe that is easy or basic, no, Martha's cupcakes are always the height of artsy-fussiness.

The particular recipe I tried was for Hi-Hat Cupcakes. Right off the bat I managed to screw up the cupcake part and baked some really ugly flat cupcakes. I was about this [--] close to pitching them out, but I decided to first try to make the frosting (which I was fairly certain would be a failure as well). The definition of fussiness is standing over a makeshift double boiler with electric beater going full speed for twelve minutes while you wait for an eggwhites and sugar to tripple in volume. I was very pleased when it actually did come together so I forged ahead, eventhough I still wanted to pitch the cake part.

Frosting the cupcakes with perfect spirals and then dipping those perfect spirals into hot melted chocolate without wrecking them is what I would classify as the artsy portion of the recipe. In this regaurd I got things done, but it wasn't pretty. at all. Still, the nice thing about a martha recipe is that you can screw up pretty bad in the execution and the end product will still be fairly impressive... so find your criticisms and shove them up your ass.

On the 5th day of Birthday my true love gave to me..

The 5th day of birthday was a juicy one, blondies, a working grill and elephant Thai made for an excellent birthday extravaganza. Not too mention the palace of Stonewall was graced with the presence of one Mr. Charles Yudson. I just sucked down an Izze soda, flavor: Sparkling clementine (i fear this glass bottle may not make it back to camp, we created a light up display for all our glass soda bottles on day 3 of birthday) <:-( B===D. Let us also take time to acknowledge the birthday treats thus far:
-6 dozen choc chip cooks(Kel)
-1 Keylime pie(made in new breakaway pan)
-1 Yule Log
-4 dozen Chocolate peppermint buttercream cookie sandwiches
-1 complete set of blondies
-1Pecan Pie(which i had been craving for quite some time, Thank you miss Newswanger <3).

Lettuce recognize the blowgun moments of the birthday celebration:
-the squirrel shot(stun)-RD
-bottlecap shot(stun)-RD
-3 story thigh shot on RD's leg(stun)-Bryant

I would also like to take a moment to discuss the state fair if i may(this took place on the forth day of birthday). It was a good time. Some highlights:
Protruding sheep rectum
Cow afterbirth
African American History
Elephant ears
Kisses
Cocks(both young and old)
Tractors
Miniature woman
Wooden Rose

Ten Days of Birthday: Day 4

Alas, the plans to take Ten Days of Birthday on the road to the state of Pennsylvania were spoiled.. and so were my own plans of sleeping in on Saturday, cowering in disappointment! Thankfully Rob D, strong in spirit and potency, organized us for a morning of Stonewall bonding and.. yard-salin'! However, not even RD predicted the enormity of the take! Here is a summary:

1 Cheeburger Cheeburger Tshirt
1 Set Star-Shaped Cookie Cutters
1 Set Cookie Cutters of Assorted Shapes (Heart, Star, Clover, Hippopotamus, to name a few)
5 Nearly Useless but Nonetheless Nostalgic Cassette Tapes
1 Yellow Cap
1 High Viz ForeSkins Cap
1 Leather Executive Office Chair (Free behind WalMart)
1 Bruce Lee Dragon's Roar Poster
1 Inspirational Golf Poster
1 Crockpot
1 Folding Camp Chair (The don't make 'em like they used to)
1 Propane Gas Grill (They don't make 'em like they used to)
1 Panda-Shaped Bulletin Board (To which the seller was emotionally attached)
1 Illhouse CompactDisc Boombox
1 Huffy Sierra Two-Wheeled Three-Speed Campus Cruiser ($5!)

Total cost: ~$25. Truly a birthday treat.

Ten Days of Birthday: Day 1

Today we embark on a ten day journey of birthday celebration through baking creations. Big Robert D turned 21 this day and I set out to create the yule log of his dreams for the occasion. For those who don't know what a yule log is, let me refer you to the wikipedia page wherefrom I pulled the following educational tidbit:

A Yule log, sometimes known as the Great Ashen Faggot,^[1] is a large log which is burned in the hearth as a part of traditional Yule or Christmas celebrations in some cultures. It can be a part of the Winter Solstice festival or the Twelve Days of Christmas, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, or Twelfth Night.

The expression "Yule log" has also come to refer to log-shaped Christmas cakes, also known as "chocolate logs" or "Bûche de Noël".

RD and I generally tend to not collaborate well on kitchen excursions of the baking kind; but today for whatever reason went rater smoothly. Rob said that he wanted to help with his birthday yule and so I let him, and after traumatizing me only a little about the egg separation process we mixed up a respectable sponge cake.

The cake is still sitting completely intact in the freezer and even though I would really like to get a cross-sectional pic of the nicely rolled cake and the blueberry creamcheese filling I'll have to wait until someone slices into it, possibly on day two. For now, this is all I've got-

Duh

Obviously, the male has the convex penis and the female the concave vagina; and though people have regarded the former as a possession and the latter a deprivation, any fool should be able to recognize that one cannot have the outstanding without the instanding, and that a rampant membrum virile is no good without somewhere to put it, and vice versa.


the game.

THE GAME

I lost it, Did you?!?!?!

is this dinner impossible?

Mission: you have a team of hungry ultimate players to feed and only 2.5 hours to prepare! Can you successfully deliver a hearty low-budget meal which will serve to nourish the hearts, bodies, and minds of these quasi-athletes, or is this DINNER IMPOSSIBLE?

Truelife: Dugtrio

Are You Comfortable? Then I Shall Begin.

Currently being quite unproductive inside of James Branch Cabell Library, I will write on some of Tuesday's haps.

Yesterday Beque and I went in search of some deals. We hit many hotspots: Ross, Goodwill, Marshalls, another Goodwill. The shopping was fairly disappointing: Beque purchased a pair of running shorts which he later discovered left little to the imagination in terms of his anatomy, whereas I left with but a modest Farm Bureau of Virgina cap. The best find of the day was a compact disc recording of Peter and the Wolf, narrated by David Bowie, which we enjoyed on the ride home after devouring some Volcano Tacos and other 99 cent treats at TB.

However, despite her comatose status of the time (her naps are known to be as long and epic as Jerimiah Johnson's pre-squaw beard), Kelly made out like a bandit! Quick release cake pan AND a beautiful set of 3 translucent mixing bowls of various sizings? We are too good to her! Alas, it was all worth it to see the look on her glowing face. She is lucky to have roommates thoughtful enough to buy her cooking supplies so that she might fulfill her strong desire to prepare baked goods for us.

For now, a late night kubb sesh is in store.

At Last: Snake Farm II Shirt Design Premier!!

Observations

Inspired by beauty
Grounded by science
Stonewall remains tight knit

Snake Farm

I don't know about the rest of you guys but i can't wait for the Second Annual Snake Farm!
-RD

Sighted: MORE Nathan Araia "posers"

While walking monument today i spotted all 7 of these posers climbing all over the sacred statue of stonewall. All of them chanting in unison "Nathan A aint got nuggets on Samuel L" over and over again to the beat of clanking kubbs. The strange thing was that amongst them was Joey Martin firing off his pistols, 3 in each hand and 4 dangling from his beard.

Sighted: Araia Fashion CopyCats

Nothing galls me quite as much as having to come across people of untoward fashion sense looking to increase their "style cred" by jumping on the latest celebrity trend boat.

Note to all the posers: Some looks aren't meant to make that leap from fabulous figure to mundane musk. If you ain't that fly, don't f'in try!

Who is Nathan Araia

Nathan
Araia
The Man
The Myth
The Legend
Nathan
Araia

I am Hatchett Jack

Yesterday was an excellent day at 2812 apt 5, i pray that this weekend is even better. I'm walking towards this weekend with the hopes of creating a Kubb set to play with on the grassy knoll, perhaps the green dragon will join us? I must now tend to my nugget hole as it is surely nugget passing time.

The Ultimate Fighter 8

The love seat has put the wammy on young Alex Beck. We decided the best course of action was to let him be and shut off the TV/lights; later on he will no doubt violently awaken from his night terrors, only to be completely disoriented and confused. Meanwhile the TV in his bedroom is showing World Series of Poker to no-one, and there is a strange man talking out of his computer, audible from the kitchen.

Best of: The Krog

Today Stonewall was blessed with the gift of more green icing than any one person could have ever hoped for.

This mythical beast came with complete baking instructions as well:

Dear Kel-
Bake @ room temp for 16-30 min or until top of cupcakes resembles a dragon. Then suckem down
-RD, Beck, Bry

Decrees of Stonewall

The Decrees of Stonewall have begun formation! It will be noted that decrees are more austere than simple "rules" or "laws" and therefore demand harsher penalties in the event of an infraction.

Commencement

A general, a monument; stone-cold warrior, rock-hard anatomy.